I can hardly believe that a full year has passed since my precious girls came into this world. I remember a year ago tonight, being so anxious about their arrival, and at the same time so excited that I would finally have them here, and honestly, not be pregnant anymore! (It was VERY uncomfortable at this point!) I was glad to spend a quiet evening with my husband and our son, knowing that the next day would bring several months of adjustment for all of us, but most of all for Taran. Taran had been the center of our world to that point. He is still the light of our lives, but he now has to share the spotlight with two more little ones!

Being a mother has been the most wonderful experience, one that I never thought I would have. I always wanted a family, but low self-confidence combined with extreme shyness and being an introvert led me to believe that I would never be a wife, much less a mother. How blessed I am that God heard the cries of my heart as a young woman, and brought me first Ari, than Taran, Clare and Laurel. I try to remember that my family is an answered prayer on the hectic days that I'm trying to keep three children happy and maintain an upbeat attitude and kind demeanor for my husband.

Being a wife and a mother has exposed several ugly things about myself, I am ashamed to say. Having been extremely shy and often keeping to myself as a young person, I became used to being my own company and having my own specific ways and expectations. Had you asked me at the time, I would have described myself as an easygoing, flexible person who wasn't easily ruffled. And likely I was; I was also so concerned, whether consciously or not, about pleasing others and being accepted, I had no problem altering my daily plans or other expectations according to what others saw as right. But having been "by myself" for so long, I had built a highly "self-ish" complex. Meaning, I thought primarily of myself and how others' expectations and plans for me would impact me personally. To this day, my first thought often is, "How is this to make things easier or harder for me? Will this make me have a good day, or a bad one?" And the conclusion either leads to relief that things are to my benefit, or extreme annoyance or despair that they are not. How I pray that God would impart His word on my heart: "Each of you should look not only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others." (Phil. 2:4)

For me, following Christ daily is to live that verse in my outward thoughts, words, and actions. That means devoting attention to my children, whether Taran is screaming, "Cheese!" at me repeatedly, or Clare and Laurel are vying for my affection. That does not mean entertaining their every whim, but rather making a conscientious effort to think about what is best for them and how to achieve that, while maintaining a positive response. This is often harder than sighing in frustration, burying my head in my laptop to escape the background noise, or giving a 4-year-old a 10-minute lecture that means little to him but feels *so* necessary to get out.

I am so thankful to God that my sweet little girls are entering their second year of life and learning and growing more each day; and that my adorable son grows more inquisitive, creative, and funny with each passing day, and more importantly, shows evidence of God's presence working in his little heart. I am continually amazed at my children, and thank God that He allowed me to be their mother. May I impart a gentle, patient spirit to them, and show them the fruits of the Spirit in my life: "...love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." (Gal. 2:22-23) To that end, I pray that they would see Christ at work in my life and have a strong desire to know Him intimately for themselves. This is my deepest desire and greatest prayer.